Lifes so difficult having to follow what everyone is doing. and when u dun follow. u seem to be the odd one. She cant handle two sides. its hard. real hard. if she push it on either side that party will not be happy. then what is she supposed to do.when a woman is in love, she's selfish. maybe she doesn't want it to be that way but those hormones is having a great fight in her. apparently, those "selfish" hormones always seems to be the victory team and poor "selfless" hormones has no choice but to retreat. well, what she need are just the attention, the time spent and to feel the other party actually cares. as simple as that or is it not=/
Desires.
JinHui at |20:09|
i decided to delete this part
Desires.
JinHui at |21:49|
do me a favour...be happy=)
like shawn say.....=)
Desires.
JinHui at |15:29|
last week was bad enough..this week even worse..plans for today: rot and doc's appointment ...
anyway no1 read this blog..it's as good as dead..and shit me i haven start exercising which i told myself to be4 the holidays...maybe i will start..soon..lol..jess work..sam work..yong study...arr no1 to dota with ...o2jam also quite sianx...maybe my next good thing will be the tv..discovery channel..yup..xD..weihan will be back tml..kinda miss him..xD ok i felt like shit and lonely. hmm i dont quite understand wad i wanted to type but more of the %$#%@%$#@%$#@%$#@%#$%$#@%@$#%@$#%$#%$#@%^%$^#%$^#%$^%$#^$#%&$#&^&^%$*&^%$*&^%*^&%%$@%#@$
sorry
Desires.
JinHui at |01:07|
nth much happened since my holiday..except going to the west for like 3 times=/ lots of things i juz learned of and now all the loose pieces tie in together..haha..ok whatever it is..i think i will be going tkd today.. i feel i should do something about my physical fitness maybe tkd will be a good start..i want start kicking the target as hard as i could which i bet i cant now=( ..like more then 8 mths since i last went for training...need to start popping those hips..i cant twist them already...kicking sure no power..lolx..whatever ..sometimes i juz feel unfair why he does not need to go market while i have to go . As strange as it gets..my wallet seems to have $$ disappearing from it..sigh..ok i juz hate this world 5#$%@$#%$#%%#$@%$
when paths cross, life can change..tml is ur bday...what can i say..i look at the gift i've bought 2 years ago, it's still with me..arr crap..not as though u care..anyway happy birthday to you and hope u are doing fine now=)
Desires.
JinHui at |00:17|
exams are finally over!~! yup..today went back to pasir ris sec with sebas and sam..initially we couldn't get in due to my hair length and colour,sam's hair also too long..but we still manage to sneak in after when most poeple are leaving the sch..quite happy to see the teachers..xD now that the holidays are here...it's so sianz=p a few weeks ago i was like counting down to my holidays yet now i feel so sianz and it's onli the 2nd day of holiday..sigh
Desires.
JinHui at |22:15|
u won't know wats its like
to hold on to your phone, but never expect anymore sms from her
to talk to her in msn, but never expect a reply
to hope to see her 1 last time but never gets the chance
count down to holiday 8 more days=)
Desires.
JinHui at |22:47|
today i spend 6 hours do nth...play anything i also find it so sianx..everyhting is so sianx..SIANX SIANZ SIANZ...i juz slack..stare at scren..read ppl blog..play abit o2jam..so boring..yawnz.. i am feeling so down..sigh...but who is there to care..no1 cares..this world sux #%$@!$#%!$#@%$%$#@%$#%#@^%^%$#^^%&^%&%$&^%$^#$^%#%$Tdgkre;grks;grkkl;kre;kgre;gk;lkrgl;gke rwgkfl; gk dfgkfpdsgnofdsbnfdsogisgof;kgsgfl;k gfdl;kfd g i am fucking sianz can..that kind of feeling is dam sux no1 understand ..this world is fucking unfair.. fuck you all fuck this world fuck the universe
Desires.
JinHui at |22:23|
sigh...i fucking hate projects..i noe my work is not up to ur standard..but dun fucking take an A grade student and compare with my this just pass grade student can. Her work is just more presentable then mine, content wise i doubt i lack much.. she has some which i dun have and i have some which she dont. You said anything at the start and now u start kpkb about my work..zz argh nvm this is the last project..tml after presentation it's over...
Exams round the corner..need to start studying..most craps i dunno..especially UO..nth much else to blog my birthday..well turn out fine..did enjoyed myself..also love the k800i i bought it for myself...yong bday also celebrated with mine..blah blah blah
Desires.
JinHui at |00:28|
whenever I thought of you, I would think to myself what a bastard i am..such an idiotic fool.When I see you, I don't know how to communite with you. I cant just pretend that nothing has happened, that I've done nothing, cos it has affected me so greatly. I'm just trying to think of every possible thing that I might have done to you to let you do this. haiz hope...
Term test/main exams are coming..yea haven start studying..lots to catch up since i have been sleeping/skipping all the lectures..haiz..hope i can pass ba..projects fianlly are over ..left last icp..some final touch up will do...ok...about 3 weeks to my holiday..yup..pls come hurry
i miss you..i really hope to see u again
Desires.
JinHui at |23:58|
bOo...sigh..tml got 2 test..uir and icp..never study for them..gg liao ba..lots of project...projectpobic..jiayou 2 weeks more u are free from themm...but then again tests are coming after 2 weeks=/...nvm barely 1 mth to my holiday...
hmm...shawn's birthday is coming..2nd aug..but...
my BIRTHDAY COMING!!!12 aug i think i will get a k800i for myself..that would be my 5th bday present i recieve since young ba..xD
Desires.
JinHui at |22:40|
well..UO test was relatively easy..lucky did not spend muc time studying it..ok em2 on thur..hope to pass or do betterxD ..although my birthday is on 12 aug..my mother always follow the lunar calander..which happens to be on the 1st day of hungry ghost festival...meaning today's my birthday in their point of view..yea yea..i got hong ji dan to eat..mee sua..got a hong bao too..haha..sigh
Desires.
JinHui at |19:50|
ya la i noe i very irritating, i am outcasted,i am not welcomed,i not popular..haiz.. now u are owned=) hope i deserve abit more respect blah fuck up life..projects still like a hill to me..7 weeks faster come..i want my holiday
Desires.
JinHui at |19:42|
Ok..sch have started quite awhile..still ok..projects still piling up..did abit of uir..hope to complete by tml( although i wanted it completed today). Yesterday went out with friends..go pasir ris..play pool and xbox..lol play until about 11..reach interchange around 11:30..starting tot i haven miss last bus..so waited..but after 20 mins no bus come..so bo bian take taxi home..cost me $6.45..taxi fare increase so sux..mrt/bus fare also going increase..sianx..living in singapore so costly..next time muz vote for ppl who can lower our cost of living at the same time increase the standard of living=p .. i hope to recieve abit of respect for u guys..i kept quiet does not meant i dont care, i juz dont want to blow up matter. why is this happening at both sides..blahxD sianx tml sch..ok 5 more weeks to term test/main exam..7 weeks to holiday..
Desires.
JinHui at |23:05|
Sigh..continously 3 days wake up at 4:30..ok whatever..tml i can wake up at 7xD..the bad memories are hunting me again..hais...*slaps myself* if onli i am not so dumb at that time...blah.. crappy almost 1 week of my holiday gone..felt it's slow..even playing game i feel slow and boring..sigh..i need a new life..something new..a new meaning,purpose..crarppy life..arrr
why are u avoiding me..sigh..although i think i noe the reason..but i just hope you could forgive me..you hardly reply me,even if so you always gave me a cold 1, all the things you do juz makes me more guilty of myself..*punches myself, wake up!* blah dont make sense..crappy blog,crappy post,crappy me,crappy life.
Desires.
JinHui at |23:46|
well this holiday is passing so fast and i dont feel that it's a holiday...well today i woke up 4:30am today and went to the market to help my parents. It's going to be the same tml..sigh...So after i came home i juz went to my com and play dota with the usual people(jess,swee,sam,pinky,yong joined onli at night), we did play some tower defence..yea i sux in td..dota also aint playing well..lots of mistake..maybe i will be better if i play more..Projects i have not start..clarence gona be mad if he knows..maybe i wil start on sat..i dont really have the mindset to study or do projects now>_<..
Hope jess(it's not the same jess) will cheer up..ok my eyes are very pain and i am super tired..time to turn in..nights folks
Desires.
JinHui at |22:10|
WOAH 1 year since i last update?!..rofl..ok nth much,1 year had pass but nth exciting happened. Lots of projects this year..well this holiay also screwed up with projects and field trips..term test over but i doubt i can do very well, math and et i probably gona fail..haha oh well -gone-
Desires.
JinHui at |16:53|
long time since i blog..nth to blog too..live in poly well stress if u take it seriously..super slack if u bo chup
got water polo training today..coach never come, quite relax,some sprinting and games,drills
next week alot test..sianx i keep sleeping in lecture..how to pass..try reading notes later..zZZz
SIANZ TML 4:30 NEED WAKE UP..zZz..sianx..sadded life
wo bu neng wang le ni
Desires.
JinHui at |21:33|
wa sianx..today long hours of lectures..yea very sianx..keep falling asleep...yesterday went for water polo try out..not that i want to join water polo..i dun feel like joining any cca..but since shawn and seb want..i juz tag along lor..sianx...then after that..1 of the senior's bday..so they decide to have dinner 2gether and had beer..then we play some games...i stupid blurr blurr dun understand their game,keep tio forfeit and made to drink alot beer..lols...had alot la..haha..then nth much also..today also same..lecture yea..Mass and energy balance sux..units conversion...so chim 1..see also siaxn 1/2..physic,chem,math sux la..lol then for csas we suppose to find out our personality profile..i belong to the peaceful phlegmatic =D the description is " SHUNS THE LIMELIGHT; low-key speech; neat; does not like conflict; HAS LOW MOTIVATION LEVEL; balanced,calm demeanor;blends in with the grp; "laughs with those who laugh,weeps with those who weep""...haha quite true ba..at least more true then the other description..
..haha..yawnZ boring life..then later come home sam say want go sim lim buy mp3 ..so i follow him..yup he bought his mp3 then later we go..at bugis street suddenly remember ximin say can ask her down for free drinks if we at bugis..so we called her..she say go cafe wait..haha then later sam inpatient go call her sis..so her sis talk to the cashier..then we can order wadever we want..free of charge..haha then we ordered coke float..but in the end, they gave us banana split,coke float, chicken tuna + salad+ fries..omg..lol we eat until can die..feel so paiseh..eat so xpensive then did not pay sia..haha eat finish juz walk out like that..lol..bth..me and sam faster zhao...enter the "high class" toilet..20 cents 1 ppl,but we 2 ppl go in with 20 cents..lolz..then later go home le..haha heng i can finish my dinner=p...yea..tml still got water polo training..yea i noe nuts about it..i am weak so have to train xD got jogging also..yea..sianx..reluctant but bo bian..i have no drive no motivation~~ then siansation feeling...the emptiness feeling..haiz=(.. sianx!~
Desires.
JinHui at |23:31|
woah...like 20 days never blog..haha...a few times i come here but dun feel like blogging..nth much to be said..anyway juz spend the past few weeks playing ,going out..and staying at home feeling bored and stoning...sch reopen..yea adapting to poly life...not too hard though...orientation was boring...because i did not get involve,i choose to be a spoiler=p mostly water games...1st day i went..waited so long for each station that i have enuff time to take a nap..yawNz..2nd day after hearing breifing and getting study guides i zhao liao..skip the orientation games and stuff.. Last sat went sentosa..quite fun ba..slack in water,play vball,captain ball,frisbee..the frisbee i found under sand 1..then lie at float there and slack...was fun except for 1 part i shant elabroate..lolz..
so this semester i will be studying organic chemistry 1,principles of inorganic and physical chemistry1,engineering maths 1, and mass and energy balance. still got the "tp core sub" which is applied principles for effective living 1 and communication skills for applied science 1...well some stuff have been covered in sec sch..so will be more of a revision for me and "lubricant" for my already rusted and dead brain which has not done maths,science for 5 mths..reluctant to work but bo bian=(.. yea...sianx..new class new friends but i none almsot none of them,except by faces=p need more time to noe them..haha during the holiday i find it bored,playing i find it boring, go out also sianx...now start sch, study le..also sianx..haha...seems like everything is still so sianx to me..the feeling of emptiness the "siansation" feeling..i am also getting bored with my list of songs...ya..tml lec starts from 1 and ends at 6..basically i am quite lost..lolz..but i will try follow ..dunno wad cca to join also..maybe water polo ba..sicne shawn wanted it and sebas say he want join something related to water-.-!!
Desires.
JinHui at |22:22|
So sianx....nth much seems to interest me..blah
dunno wad to blog also=/...last sunday dun want go grandmother house so i stay outside,mum give alot mis- call but dun want answer=p then go out with seb,swee,shawn,sam, later yong joined..cannot tahan..LABOUR DAY YONG ALSO HAVE BAND..WTF JC SO NO LIFE=p stone around in acade,most fun part is when we play hop scotch=p 1st time playing..ahaha no tong nian=p...then 2nd may is song guan bday...went out with eugene,sharyl,cong ren,song guan, keith or wad de=p dunno how spell(some1 i dunno) weslie and azrul ...went city hall lor..go marina sqaure play pool,bowling..then go esplanade take pics...then song guan spects tio stepped,spoil..need make 1..i pay for him 1st lor..cause all there no $$-.-..$95..now i become so broke...wonders how am i going get the $$ back from them=/...lol then siam home..3rd may go out again lor..starting go swimming..swim about 6 laps nia..soak in pool then leave le....7 years since i last swim-.-..lol bth sianx sianx then go downtown find sam and swee..play pool awhile..walked from downtwon to pasir ris west plaza..cb so far 1..lolz..then go HOP SCOTCH..=p haha at the playground there got 1 girl very cute, she was holding a slippers..then we ask her throw at swee..lol she really go chase and want throw..swee run..then they both run around..the girl so cute=p also got powerpuff tattoo!!.lol then later she climb up and down..i tell her dun climb la..haha carry her up they say i molest=/....then later after awhile she still there climbing..then suddenly she fell..ouch..haha she never cry..so brave 1=p then shawn ask you ok or not..she say ok and run to her mummy le..haha..got 1 girl there VERY KP keep saying u muz jump wad and how then show us-.-!! lol got 1 indian boy also quite cute..i put out my hand he keep hitting my hand..lolz...small kids so cute and fun to play with..=p i hope to have a sister>_<...lol nth much too..finally sebas pass me the disc of date with vampire 3..tml then watch ba...used 11 disc to burn all 47 series..lolz..sianx nth much le..life is all about pool,gb,bowling=p and HOP SCOTCH =p something new and fun..LOL...
p.s i dun see any 16,17 years old boy playing hop scotch..LOL
Desires.
JinHui at |00:13|
Today...happy/pek ceh day..zZz..west to pasir ris meet sam and shawn with seb...something fucked up happend..seb keep kpkb say i kp him..act so fierce..i buai song, slam the table and walked away..he say i act big..wtf =/ nvm then i west to pasir ris beach stone for about 1 hour..they call but i mai answer..juz wanna calm myself down..then later me,pinky,sam,seb,swee,shawn take 518 to orchard to buy my crumpler bag
After that walk around..go acarde awhile then go k pool at cine..play 3 rounds nia..then walk walk again..go thai express eat..the food sux and xpensive=p..then walk walk again...then take 518 to pasir ris and walk to pasir ris park..climb spider web( i didn't climb,dunno how=p and too fat) then go climb the so called obstacle rope course( name given by us) lol..then later go 7-11 buy drink,i buy maggi noodles eat..then take taxi go home le..let's see how much i spend.. $90 on bag,$2.80 on lunch, $4.50 lidat on 518,74 cents on mrt to pasir ris, $9 on thai express, $1 on mineral water, $4.50+45 cents on taxi back home,maggi mee $1.30total about $24+$90...omg..so sux..transportation about $10 liao..zZz total $114..going broke soon..Zzz
Desires.
JinHui at |11:57|
OMG EVERYDAY GOING OUT IS KILLING ME( in terms of my $$$_$$$) yesterday spent about $60...then today about $30...very suay lor..1st time play snooker then lose 1 red ball..kena fine $20..muz be hei dian..got ppl steall ball-=Pppp...
Today 10 meet seb and shawn we go gym( shawn late 15 mins so is 10:15)...lol i go there do abit work out nia..not much..do more of running..hahahx...then later bathe le we go eat mac then find sam at metro, crap with him awhile..he keep want me buy that ugly polo t..he say ugly is trendy..bth..hahh..then we go meet swee go pavilion pool and snooker..lol..quite fun ba...snooker so hard to play 1..ball so small..hole so small..table so big..MORE EXPENSIVE...1 game so long( becauuse we noob) ..i rather play pool..lolx...then later sam sneak out and play pool with us also...about 1 hour+ he zhao back..hahahx...snooker $48.80..inclusive of $20 fine-.-!! pool was about $10++ nia..mine and sam $6.50..seb they all should be 3+-$5..lol..then go eat at east link mall..saw aliah and some ex pasirian..o.0..after that seb siam home..me,pinky,shawn,swee go tm popular read boooks while waiting for sam to knock off...spend 1 hour+ at there..hahha..so long never read..i almost felt asleep while reading..then later go acarade again..then sam come..around 8+ then swee,pinky and sam go long john buy set meal eat..then go back acarade..play until 10 then leave the place..quite fun but i going bankurpT$#@%$@%$#@%#$..
if i got atm card all my savings will be gone..if no atm card i no $$ to support my lfiestyle now%$$#@%$#@ arr tml still got go out again..may still have chalet( all lazy book but see how) ..^%$$^$#^% i need more $$...lol..oh ya..i also kena scam $1.50 to do charity..=(..lolz
Desires.
JinHui at |22:40|
whahaha yesterday quite ok..not very sianx..go out with shawn,sebas,pinky,swee...actually yong coming but last min have to go malaysia so cannot=(( then we buy movie ticket for infection..we got 2 scratch card the other time we watch pacifier..then we use CHEAP method and we got 2 free icecreams..wee..lol=p we go find sam then pei him eat lunch at mac..i also eat..haha...then shawn tio ps..he very unhappy..lolz..his hp something wrong..he call my hp,swee answer but no voice so put down..later he kpkb..bth
Then later go back acarade play awhile....swee so pro..reach last stage..fight cyber akuma..i keep losing be4 reaching stage 6...lol~~=(( then later go in liao..got some kp ppl make so much noise be4 movie..ccb then keep kicking my chair..cb 1 nvm..hahahx...the movie quite er xin ba..but not really that bad..remind me of my icu stay=P i was attended by trainee nurse too! she take blood that time poke wrong part..muz re poke..hahah..but the movie much worse la..hahhax next tuesday watching creep with them...hoho..yong always so busy de >_<
After the movie we go back acarade...lolz,play those few sianx game again..then later walk around..we waiting for sam to knock off from his job at 9 ..haha so we walk around lor ..go century square acarde walk walk, see ppl dance para para,all same pattern,muz be learn from internet or wad..hahhx..got more chio bu and yandao at century square compared to tm sia=p..hahhax..sianx then we go find angelina..as usual la..her eye liner all those put thick thick..like ghost..hahahx..then we go find sam about 15 mins to 9..he recomand some clothes for us to buy...erps..hahha me and sebas bought 2 pants..lolz..he want go gym work out..since nth to do so i buy and pei him next week..hahahx=P then 9 liao punch card we go eat..i never eat,juz pei them...hahhax very full lor...after eat le want go pavilian pool..but full house...sad then no pool ,they want go acarde..i sianx of there liao so go home 1st,sebas also went home..hahahx...not bad sia my entry so long =P sianx...hahhax later still got tkd..i haven find my leg guard..sure tio drop again..zzZz..lol and i dropping to red ruby le >_<..ok enuff of crap..byyE!!!!
Desires.
JinHui at |13:20|
Muhahah finally got a new com....spoil a few days cannot use com is a torture..lala
yesterday swee hin bday..o.0 we go pool then bowling then go bedok eat zi cha-.- then later pinky,shawn and yong go home,yong got project, then swee,sam,me decided to walk from 85 market back to my home-.-!!! seb walk until my block there then walk home,he hum ji dun dare walk alone under mrt track=P so he walk extra=P then later swee and sam go click a few button then my norton work le..hahahx...then he dl lf2 as "testing" then we 3 play lf2..lolx-.- about 9 then go home le..hahhax sianx also=/ pool and bowling almost everytime we go out...so bored=( nth much to do also..later going collect medical report, i fill 1 of the form wrongly..muz wait for parents come home and fill again..then tml hand in those stupid forms to tp...sianx...zZzzzZzzzzZzzzzzzzzzZzZzz very sianx-.- got back com also very sianx=P
Desires.
JinHui at |12:11|
...suddenly wake up..dunno why..cant sleep ba..onli slept like 2 hours+..so came online browse thru..
heh..also changed the blog music..lolz=/ sianx..yesterday after me,seb,shawn,pinky and sam go downtown play pool...about 3 hours lidat then go bowling 2 games..haha..quite fun...better then staying at home..=/ reach home then gb=/..nth much also ..sianx=/...dunno wad time i will go back sleep=/..not even feeling tired now...zZzz
Desires.
JinHui at |03:40|
boO...lol my blog so deadxD..sianx..everyday i at home rot and stone-.- sleep around 2+ am wake up around 10+...
so today same thing ..wake up log in archmage..realised i tio attacked by 4 ppl lidat..blocked 3 but tio invaded once..-.- then carry watch national geographic..today discovery # not nice..after that lunch with seb ..eat chicken rice again..then go play pool about 1 hour+...then walk around east point..but cheapskate kfc ice icream..lolz..then go home..found out i tio 1 bastard raped...lol #1098..he pillage me 3 times( lost about 20m gold+ item..buildings tio destroy)...then attempted to attack me 3 times (all failed), then he so fucked up and cast death and decay,metoer shower and confuse on me..knn.Confuse make me so hard dispel..but heng he cannot upkeep the spell and they fizzle out..lolx.I spent 100+ turns to get my buildings built and everything restore normally..kns..slow down my resaerch by half a day...zZz..anyway now i finish researching ascendant,nether and phathasiam spells...left verdent and eradication..hope to finish researching them by 2 days..then revenge on that bastard..want to pillage him 6 times then attack him 6 times+ cast spell..farker..target to fulfill this wish by 4 days=) then after that play gb..until 10:30 lidat..pack thing...so unfair de life...all things i do..my bro never do anything..knn 1...then my parents always side him..say he study..wtf can go out until 11+ cannot help out ..cb lor..i rather go sch lidat=.-..sianx..blah..also nth to do..stop here le ba..tml should be the same routine..o.0 archmage,rot,lunch,then maybe gb...muz wait for yong=D..lolz=/
Desires.
JinHui at |00:46|
blah...suddenly feel like typing some shit-.-
very very sianx...Zzzz wadever i do i dun find any fun or purpose..juz this emptiness and sianz feeling in me..it's killing me...AFDSAFWQER@#$%@$#@!#$!#@$@ play gb i so no mood...zZzzZzz blah i am going crazy!!#@!#!@$#@$# zzz k enuff of shit typed here..lol...blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Desires.
JinHui at |11:13|
hmM...got into my 1st choice...tp - chemical engineering..sebas also=/
morning play gb awhile then later we go play pool,got swee,seb,pinky,me and yong..seb treat..lol-.- then play bowling..sianx..nth much also...so sianx de...later going play gb again..wait for yong reach home lor-.-..sianx
Desires.
JinHui at |18:00|
Too sianx so come here crap abit...life becomes so such a struggle...everyday the time passes so slowly...juz like the days when i was in icu..staring at the clock waiting for time to pass by..and wondering...haix
play gb awhile lor..then later slack abit...around 2pm went out to eat chicken rice with sebas..have been eating chicken rice almost everyday...then we go simei de acarade pool find sam and pinky..seb treat all of us pool..lolz. After about 1 hour..some1 called and wanted to buy sam acct..so we all 4 took a cab down to siglap centre there de terrance house sell that guy...it happens to be the same guy who bought sebas de acct...then seb treat us taxi back cos he in a rush for home..then after that go home...1st thing i went to check my gb rank..257 no increasement but was shocked i became diamond=D~ wee...then later play gb awhile again...with yong,shawn,sam...then game hang hhalf way..at shawn turn hang..he quit then game start..sam call him quit he mai cute..act blurr sing lj song..sam dulan and left..play awhile more shawn go then yong also go then i also go le-.- watch tv awhile then find it too sianx so i go sleep..woke up found that there is still nth to do..so now i cme here blog and eat at the same time-.-
Sam de sis got a job for me,seb and shawn..we giving out leaflets at bugis..but onli 3 hours nia..but we hack care la..can waste abit time..lol..sianx..nth more to blog le..zzzz life sux..ZZz
Desires.
JinHui at |20:28|